Here I sit in darkness waiting for true light

It’s true. I have had an interesting couple of days. I try to do my best to unite the old way of things to the new and justify why I stay in the new. It’s hard to let it go. Not really sure if I have to. It’s a long story-
Last night was a wake-up moment for me. Forget about A-Ha moment s for now. They just aren’t there. In work, I am developing a new partnership at a new spa that I *heart* (as my Joey would say: “I *heart* this!”). I see good things coming about.
The spa is in Bobcaygeon- where I literally saw the constellation. Back in August. But now it is November. And I am at a Cross-roads. I knew it would come to this. I spoke with a psychic tonite (not like me) who told me things that were not just nilly-willy. She spoke to me of my book- outside of a new business deal I would create before Xmas- at the end of our conversation: “Just remember me when you have your recognition,” sez she. Ironic. We were at a business schmooze-fest (where she was hired- i assume- as a novelty) when I spoke with her. She told me things that I knew but it freaks me out when Psychics talk to me about thing that they couldn’t possibly have an idea about.
It is.
Now, at 4:15 AM (5:15AM in the time of yesterday), I lay here in my bed at the farm, wondering. I feel like a Massive Attack song.
I am at a cross roads in my life. I get it. I just can’t wait to get home tomorrow and spend time with HillBilly and Kevvers. And Pammers. And Leesa. That’s it. That’s my life right at this moment; that what I want and need.
[To my Flickr friends: U know the above peeps thru photos; cross reference.]
Lat night, I had a dram about Jayel Aheram. Flickr “ami”. We spoke of things to come and whether it was worth the effort at all anymore. This was surprising to me. He is most extraordinary and it shocked me that he was in “give-a-shit” mode. Odd. [Note to Self: I must email him about that dream-]
I rant. I can’t. I’m tired. I have never felt so strongly about being back in the city. I’m surprised and indifferent about this feeling.
It is what it is.


4 Responses

  1. I have similar feelings and I wonder what I am doing up at this hour when I don’t have to be.

  2. i c u

    there is an owl in my garage…

  3. Cross roads of life.

    I could really relate….

    Once a totally club junkie..
    Now a complete home-body!

    Single, and happy….
    No worries or insecurity…

    Just moving on; knowing where the happy place is in my life…

    Hmm…Appreciation is amazing in many forms!

  4. Anon- I often wonder ehat the hell I am doing up at any given hour. Be it staying up late or getting up far too early. There’s something- to me- about the hours 0f 3AM- 7AM that kicks in my thought process and allows me to create. It’s quite inconveinient. I thank the universe that I have found a group of people with the same same-
    MEG, sweet Meg- Owly is still there? She must have a name by now! Have you tried a burlap bag and grabbling her legs to let her free? Sounds easier than not- I assure you, this is not painful to the owl.
    Bobby- Yup! I’ve lived the Club Life- the NEVER CHANGING club life of seeming emptiness. Although, I do go out once in a while, I much prefer the “while” side of that!
    Good to hear from you again, brother. You’ve been lying low, n’est pas?

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