Jake Ain’t Feelin’ It Today-


For someone who generally likes snow & storms, I am just not feeling it this winter. Perhaps it has been the succession of storms in one week. 
 
I’m tired. I’m over it. I’m exhausted. I wanna roll with what I should be rolling with but I can’t just make it happen that fast. I feel like all eyes are on me. And if I don’t produce as fast as everyone expects that I should, I step back. I step out. I’m not holding it all on my own. I know I have the help of people who believe in me. But somtimes, things just seem like they’re going too fast- or, that they are expected to move faster. Or if it’s going too fast, I can’t keep up. Or I don’t realize that I’m going too fast that others can’t keep up. Then I get overly frustrated. 
 
Which is where I am.
 
Frustrated. 
 
I wanna step off both the world’s ride and my own ride. For just a moment. Step back, look at all that’s happening. Pause. FFW. REV. Pause. Put it all together. And then try to make sense of it all. 
I also wanna step back after I have tried to make sense, make it all fit into it’s tetris-like puzzle of an equation- I just want warmth and sun. I want to hear the lapping of water. I want feel oceans and suns and warm water. I want someone to say to me: Here’s the margarita you were just thinking of asking for but didn’t have to. 
 
But it remains a want.
 
Tomorrow, I will pull up my big-girl panties and get on with it. 
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3 Responses

  1. jake— thinking of you…it will all work out! xo

  2. BELIEVE….

  3. still thinking of you, jake! 🙂 hope you are doing well….xo

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