A NEW canvas- 18 x 18

Intimidating as it is, I began a new piece yesterday on an 18 x 18 gallery quality canvas.

I have worked on 8 x 10 canvases. Shitty quality. If it sucked, it didn’t matter.

I have worked on high quality 12 x 12 paper. That was intimidating. But recent events have whipped me into believing that i CAN create art and not have to feel so intimidated.

It’s ridiculous really. I went to art school. For 3 1/2 years. [That’s right. I am one semester shy of a BFA in fine art.]

I don’t know where i lost Me. what happened? why the intimidation?

For years, I left my fine art roots and partied, bartended, performed (i realize this is another form of visual art). But then something happened. As a Makeup Artist, I was committed and determined to be the “artist” that comes with “makeup.” And I did for years. But then big business found me with promises of world travel and great dough. But it is big business, none-the-less. It was like selling my soul to the devil, in a way. I BECAME the business. I believed everything that was drilled into my noggin and made my clients believe it too. The doctrine.

I lost me.

It’s been two years since I have- as a girlfriend of mine puts it- “sucked Satan’s knob” (her charming version of selling one’s soul to the devil).

In that time, especially within the past 10 months, I have had the pleasure of virtually meeting some people that have encouraged and helped me find Me.

It continues.

This week virtual becomes reality for one of those people that have been a HUGE artistic influence in my life as of late.

This canvas- the MONSTROUS 18 x 18- is inspired by that person.

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5 Responses

  1. So glad you are finding YOU….I don’t think you ever really lost your “ME”….It was just waiting for you to say hello! Have fun getting reacquainted with one another…….I have no doubt, that together You and “Me” are going to great things together! Can’t wait to see the finished ART!

  2. i’m glad you are finding yourself… and what a find you are! xoxo

  3. Life brings about a great artist…You ARE Life..knob sucking and all
    You are an inspiration to many Jake…opening doors/windows for change…how exciting is that!
    Enjoy the Moment and just ‘BE’
    XOXO

  4. Go for it…find you in art again. Don’t be intimidated. I have faith you can do it!

  5. it’s the best fucking canvas ever!!! I am the luckiest person!!

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