Makeup 101: 10 Things Not To Do

 

Should you be charged with crimes against beauty? We’re here to set you straight.

 

As seen in Filly.ca

Remember in high school, when passing the part of the building where the bad rocker girls smoked in the bathroom? Remember their magnificent floating heads of ginger just to their jaw lines and then, ffsstt!, white from the neck down?

Was one of those girls you? Admit it. Some of you have never graduated past those dark and lonely days.

Well, it’s time to put on your mortarboard and bid farewell to high school habits. Think of me as your valedictorian and take notes: 

Dark and light: foundation match

1. Take a deep breath and trust your professional cosmetician to divine your skin tone. Don’t spend 5 minutes insisting you’re dark and lovely if you make Cate Blanchett seem swarthy. Accept what you are – and then work with that palette. If it’s a deeper or bronzed skin color that you desire, don’t be tempted to go with a dark foundation. Although it seems counter-intuitive, match it to your skin tone, adding a powder or gel bronzer. 

When applying a bronzer (Tarte “Sunkissed” is my fav), think of how the sun kisses your face naturally. Pass your powder or bronzing brush at the forehead, cheekbones, across the nose and at the jaw line. If you feel the need to have that deeper skin tone in a liquid form, use a tinted moisturizer. They are meant to be sheer, they blend nicely on the neck and they will make your skin tone more believable than brazen.

2. For those dolls who crave the porcelain look, but clearly have a deeper skin tone, never fear. Remember the ginger-faced girl from the first paragraph – don’t be her Geisha Girlfriend. If it’s a brightness that you desire, try adding a liquid highlighter to your foundation or a powder highlighter on top of the foundation you have applied. Application of powder highlighters are applied in exactly the same manner as the bronzing powders – with care and love.

Eyeliner and mascara

3. Calling all gals who lived through any part of the 70s, 80s or 90s! Let’s talk about eyeliner. Remember junior high school when you first discovered this strange and mysterious product? Remember the great application techniques that you had: rimming the table of your bottom eye lid; putting your liner at the base of the bottom lash line and either smudging it out or leaving it as it was? Wow. That was a great look.  Nothing says “Talk to me!” like a nice, heavy bottom lid that makes you look tired, miserable and unapproachable. 
If your eye is large enough, go ahead and continue with the “smudge” technique, but add something to the top lash line. Smudge in a little liner to that lash line much the same way as you are doing to the bottom. You’d be surprised at how much happier your eyes look. 

On the other hand, those of you with smaller peepers should retire your bottom liner technique completely. It’s only making your eye look smaller. Instead, just add a little liner into the base of the top lash. Pop! Go the peepers. A light highlight shadow color on the eyelid will open them even more.


4. As for mascara, make sure that you are cleaning your eyes properly at night. Adding mascara to your lashes from yesterday and the day before produces three or four big spikes, a la Tammy Faye. If you are a mascara aficionado (and who isn’t?), invest in a good eye makeup remover, one with oil (the kind that the liquid separates and are generally blue in color). Don’t worry; the oil won’t give you zits around your eyes. Apply your mascara from the base of the lash, just hitting the tips. This technique works for everyone. It’s amazing how your lashes will keep separated by doing this as well.

 

Eye shadow and frosted brow bones

 

5. Can we talk about the urge to match? Just because you are wearing a purple suit doesn’t mean that you have to do up your whole face in purple. 

 

Do you remember, around grade 5 in art class, when you learned the color wheel? If you can find it in your catacombs, haul it out. Otherwise, visit your nearest Loomis and Toles to purchase one. This is your new oracle.

 

The simplest thing here is to remember: “opposites attract”. For example, you will notice that on the wheel, the opposite of green is red. I’m not suggesting to wear red eye shadows with green eyes, but anything that contains red (such as orange, purple or pink) will suffice.

 

6. Toronto Makeup Artist Lindsay LaRocque would like to remind you of frosted eye shadow on the brow, saying to “remember age appropriateness. If it looks crêpy, then don’t do it.” She’s right on the money, here.  When you think frosting, think birthday cake. And if birthdays fill you with more horror than joy – leave the frosted look for the kids. Don’t feel bitter, they won’t get away with it for too much longer.

 

Brows

 

7. What gives a great frame to an eye? Yes, you are right. A good brow. While a small percentage of you out there are hard to find within the forest that is growing around your eye, I know that most of you readers are not. If anything, you may suffer from the plight of walking a thin line. At this point, please refer to my article, The Fine Art of Brow Beating. Learn to get a great brow in a few simple steps.

 

Blush

 

8. In the cinema in my head, there’s a one-song soundtrack forever playing in the background. It’s Peggy Lee’s “Fever”. Blush too close to the eye will make you look ill. Do you have the desire to look like you are constantly suffering a fever of 102? 

 

Look at yourself in the mirror. Smile. Place a little blush just where the top of the cheek pops out. This will provide a soft and youthful appearance. If it’s an evening look you’re striving for, add a little more blush onto the cheekbone and pop a little more above the temple, not in the temple. Remember, no fever. 

 

Lips

 

9. No offense to our fabulous Miss Pam Anderson, but overdrawing the lip just leaves you with a moustache after your lipstick or gloss has fled. If it’s fullness you desire, research local doctors and find a master filler. However, if you are lacking the necessary funds for lip injections, don’t compensate with lip liner. Go ahead and draw a little fuller over the lip if you have a non-existent lip, just at the top of your lip line and be sure to blend it in. Use lighter lip shades and a little gloss just in the middle of the lip. Over-glossing on any lip just gets messy and bleeds out past the lip line quickly, giving you a look not unlike a clown. And everybody knows that clowns are frightful. 

 

And finally…

 

10. Don’t be so attached to what you think looks great. It may have looked fantastic 20 years ago but remember that, as you graduate, so must your makeup.

 

These are the absolute, bare essentials, girls. Once you’ve mastered where you need to go with this, then go ahead and experiment.

Pit Bulls, Lipstick and a Side of 15 For Ron Paul

Well.

It cannot be argued that Sarah Palin does not get a crowd going. 

At the RNC Wednesday night, Palin delivered a deliberately effective speech to and for the people. More specifically, for hockey moms everywhere. It was pretty blatant where this speech- written by one of Bush’s top speech writers- was trying to go; who it was trying to hit. 

For all those who have responded to my last post and the post before that, suggesting that Sarah Palin is being used as a pawn or a PR tactic within the Republican Party, I think that your case just made its point.

Some highlights:

 

In our family, it’s two boys and three girls in between – my strong and kind-hearted daughters Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

And in April, my husband Todd and I welcomed our littlest one into the world, a perfectly beautiful baby boy named Trig. From the inside, no family ever seems typical.

That’s how it is with us.

Our family has the same ups and downs as any other … the same challenges and the same joys.

Hit on the first pitch to her fellow, regular ol’ American Peeps. First Base.

 

 “You know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick.”

Now that- after seeing the well-planted “Hocky Moms for Palin” signs in the audience was the line of the night. And it wasn’t even in the script. She CAN improvise- Hit. Move onto second base.

[Is it just me or does anyone else see Palin as a Tina Fey character? It’s often so comedic. PLEASE SNL- Bring back Tina Fey for guest spots as Palin!]

 

But here’s a little news flash for all those reporters and commentators: I’m not going to Washington to seek their good opinion – I’m going to Washington to serve the people of this country. Americans expect us to go to Washington for the right reasons, and not just to mingle with the right people.

Politics isn’t just a game of clashing parties and competing interests.

The right reason is to challenge the status quo, to serve the common good, and to leave this nation better than we found it.

Another hit! Move on to third base! Bases are LOADED! You remind those Americans that you are JUST LIKE THEM- a hockey mom running for office and taking over Washington. For the people!

 

To the most powerful office on earth, he would bring the compassion that comes from having once been powerless … the wisdom that comes even to the captives, by the grace of God … the special confidence of those who have seen evil, and seen how evil is overcome. A fellow prisoner of war, a man named Tom Moe of Lancaster, Ohio, recalls looking through a pin-hole in his cell door as Lieutenant Commander John McCain was led down the hallway, by the guards, day after day.

As the story is told, “When McCain shuffled back from torturous interrogations, he would turn toward Moe’s door and flash a grin and thumbs up” – as if to say, “We’re going to pull through this.” My fellow Americans, that is the kind of man America needs to see us through these next four years.

 

I’m just wondering here- Is the fact that McCain was a POW the reason that we can trust him in a war torn world? My guess is that- if I had been a prisoner of war for as long as he had, I would have vendetta on the mind. Just saying- At any rate, tears are now flowing. Another hit, this time out of the park. Four points for the Republicans. 

The only thing left that I want to know when she will be talking about (to quote one of my commenters from another post) “anti-choice, anti-gay rights, and full-throttle rape the earth as quick as we can anti-environment” stances. She really hasn’t had a chance to address all of this yet in a public forum. Swept into a VP nom and making speeches to get “the people” worked into a frenzy of “OMG! She’s JUST LIKE US!” -ness takes time and effort.

A friend of mine made me aware of some fact checking into Palin’s speech which you can find here. It’s a good read!

But my favorite quote of the day comes from Regan’s “Read my lips” speech writer, Peggy Noonan:

“The most qualified? No! I think they went for this- excuse me political bullshit about narratives… Every time Republicans do that, because that’s not where they live and it’s not what they’re good at, they blow it.”

15 for Ron Paul, On a side:

Go Ron Paul for having your own rally/ convention across the street (basically) from the RNC. Complete with (eew) Tucker Carlson and Jesse Ventura. They’d have been better off haveing cute, young, brilliant Libertarian-esques such as Oliver Pigott and troop/ artist/ political commentator, Jayel Aheram. Along with a good majority of the US troops that were/ are Ron Paul supporters. 

A commentary from someone who attended both the “Rally for The Republic” and the RNC:

My interest in the US Elections is great. It is no surprise that I would be an Obama supporter from here on in but I’d love to hear thoughts and see a dialogue going on the subject of the origination of a Democratic Republic. What say you about the US constitution? About the Declaration of Independence? Although I am a bystander from another country, American elections affect the state of the world and I think that it’s in everybody’s interest to pay attention to what’s going on. My only wish is that more US citizens were apt to pay attention to what is going on in the rest of the world. To get outside of the microcosm. I know it’s hard. I’m an outsider looking in. All the time. Hell, I haven’t even blogged about what’s going on right now in Canadian politics. [It’s coming.]

But until then, Thoughts?